joy

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Happy New Year!

January 1, 2011 in Moments by admin | Comments

It is 12:05am. I couldn’t sleep so decided to get up and enjoy the popping of firecrackers in the neighborhood as people celebrate the beginning of 2011. The firecrackers are still going off.

I feel very peaceful; I hope others do too. The date is now 1-1-11. I hope it is a good and healthy year for everyone.

Soon I’m going to share a poem on this site that I wrote four years ago after my mother’s death in 2006, and I don’t want to forget to do that.

But not now. Now is for enjoying this moment and reveling in it. I was not supposed to live this long, and I am here…and am grateful for every day as well. Welcome, 2011.

Peace to you.

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Chemo completed

January 9, 2009 in Moments by admin | Comments

cpmd-cabbage-104Source of my peace
   Spring of my joy
As always, I find your presence
   within myself
      and drink deeply of your hope.

Listening within, waiting, I have regained hope and happiness. Life is different now, to be sure, but again I reach into myself and the tranquility that has been worked within me over the years, and I rest in this sacred dwelling pace for love and peace.

Today—well, yesterday now, as it is 2:40am on Friday—I finished my twelfth and final round of chemo. I am so happy.  No more tubes and pumps, at least for a while. As the fatigue wears off, I will be able to start exercising, in earnest this time. “Listen to your body!”  the oncologists emphasize. I will listen, I promise.

But it’s hiking again, back to the gym and the elliptical, long walks with the dog as weather permits (and it often does), walks interspersed with race-walking (approved by the oncologists), and bicycling (with Cliff, in case of balance mishap).

It will be a couple of weeks—as this weeks’ chemo runs its two-week course—before I do much.  Still, it’s exciting to think about and start working up to day by day.

Thank you ALL for your support!!!!!  And thank you, my heartlings — Joanna’s and Evan’s friends — including Douglas in Paraguay.

Well of joy, spring forth!

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The creative pull

October 3, 2008 in Reflection by admin | Comments

I’ve always loved art but have been overly conscious of producing bad art. My mother was an accomplished artist. My daughter is an accomplished artist and art teacher. I am just a dabbler, especially skilled at producing unmemorable pieces.

But things have changed. No, my art hasn’t improved. But I am faced with a serious diagnosis.

And I no longer care if I produce insipid art or stupid art or never-let-this-picture-see-the-light-of-day art.

I just want to paint.

So I have taken over my daughter’s old bedroom, set up an easel and some tables, and used a birthday check to buy some saturated, lovely acrylic paint.

With my annoying inner art critic silenced at last, I am having the time of my life. And the creative energy is carrying over a bit into the rest of my days, helping combat chemo fatigue.

I have discovered this little outlet of pure joy, and it is feeding my soul.

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