I just read my last post, and it sounds like I am reeling uncontrollably around the house, but I am not. Although the moments I wrote about all happened and continue to happen, they don’t occur on the same day (or else it might be a good day to go back to bed).
Well, the hair drifting to the floor is sort of a constant process.
Monday, when I wrote it, was a very bad day. I felt like I could hardly move. But Tuesday and today have been so much better. I’ve gotten errands done and am exploring pen and ink in the studio. I can’t seem to get the hang of pen and ink, but it’s fun anyway and I enter sort of a zen-like zone when I’m using the pen or the water brush.
. . . except earlier today when both new nib-holders broke and one of the nibs fell out in the inky wash water and I unfortunately poured both the dark water and the brand new nib down the toilet. A comedy of errors. I went back to the little art store, and the clerk said, “You just bought these yesterday.”
Yes. Well. The hapless artist strikes again.
Plus my 23-year-old son was there as a witness to see the nib go down the toilet. He offered to reach in and try to locate and retrieve the nib in the toilet water, which was opaque with black ink. Ew . . . even though the toilet was clean. Anyway, he was sweet to offer, but I declined. Everything had broken or disappeared at once, and I was afraid something else might happen, like his cell phone dropping in the water or something.
I have a PET/CT scan tomorrow and see both oncologists (the conservative one and the one who prefers aggressive treatment) next week. I know they will both be concerned about the worsening neuropathy (numbness and needle-like sensations) in my hands, feet, and mouth. We’ll see what news the PET/CT brings. I have chemo on Monday and get disconnected from the chemo pump the day before Thanksgiving.
The kids have offered to make Thanksgiving dinner and I am going to take them up on it, as I will probably not feel so good (and unfortunately may not be able to taste much either so soon after chemo). Cliff will help with the dinner too, as he always does. Love this family.
pen and ink attempt, day 1