August 2008

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First round of chemo

I began my first round of FOLFOX and Avastin chemo on August 4th. It is now the 18th, and my second round begins tomorrow.

During my first week, I threw up constantly and couldn’t even keep a sip of liquid down. When I began throwing up in the oncology office, the chemo nurse whisked me back to an easy chair and began an IV infusion. I went in for another infusion the next day.

Two days later, I was in the hospital (on a Sunday morning) for a third infusion, and I was able to take my first food — a bit of mashed potatoes.

Well, this non-stop throwing up and extreme dehydration is definitely not going to work for 24 weeks of chemo. My oncologist plans to reduce one chemo drug a bit and change all of my nausea meds for the second round. We’ll see how it goes.

I have not been able to go near the computer or do anything that requires attention. Mostly I have been curled up on the sofa in fetal position for two weeks. Hope these new meds are effective.

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Embrace

Universal source of love, hold me in your arms and rock me.
Extend my consciousness to the far reaches of time and space.
Connect my heart to every living being on Earth.

Enlarge my embrace to all of humanity.
I hear their moans and grieve with them.
I gather their joys and dance with them.
I sense their silence and sit with them.

Cradle us all in your compassion and your
        incomprehensible love.
                                                   

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